I have worked with numerous couples at all stagesof life, and have "learned by doing" in my own 32 year marriage,including raising three fantastic and challenging children to adulthood.
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I Promise You: Preparing for a Marriage That Will Last a Lifetime By Willard F. Harley
BOOK: I Promise You offers couples four ways to create a healthy and vibrant marriage: care, protection, honesty, and time.
CELEBRITY INTERVIEW with MELINA KANAKAREDES by Coaching Circles Staff Writer
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Melina Kanakaredes, the star of the NBC's top-rated drama Providence, married her college sweetheart Peter Constantinides in 1992.
CC: How do you define a soul mate?
Melina: It's that thing that you can't actually put your finger on, but you are family and friends and lovers all at the same time. A soul mate is someone you don't have to explain anything to, it's Somebody who understands who you are. It's someone who automatically feels like family.
CC: Was there anything unique about your wedding ceremony?
Melina: I got married in Ohio in the same Greek Orthodox church where my parents were married and where my sisters and I were baptized.
Because I was marrying a Greek guy, it was a huge wedding. We invited 500 of our closest friends!
There's a unique tradition in the Greek Orthodox church where crowns are exchanged. The bride and the groom each have a crown that is connected by a ribbon. The Koumbaros, which is the guy who sponsors your wedding, crosses the crowns three times, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, to make the two of us one.
Then we walk around the petufrin, which is the altar, three times, again to symbolize the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. The Koumbaros, who is holding the crowns, walks with us, as does the priest who is holding the bible, and someone to hold the train of my dress. We hold candles and we're taking our first walk as husband and wife.
Then everyone throws rose petals, which is a tradition from southern Greece, where my husband's family is from. It's very symbolic --everything means something. The silver tray that holds the crowns has koufeta all over it, which are like candy-covered Jordan almonds. The shape of the almond symbolizes never-ending love.
CC: Melina's advice for a happy marriage:
Melina: Fight passionately. You need to love passionately and fight passionately. When there is a lack of communication that's when the start happening. I want to get into a knock-down drag-out fight, because then it's fun to make up.
CC: Melina's Reality Check:
Melina: I always ask my friends who are going to get married... what do you hate about him? They think that's a pessimistic question, but it's not. There's got to be something that drives you nuts, and you have to figure out what it is because it's not going to get any better after you marry them. No one is gong to be ideally perfect all the time -- and if they were, how boring!
Q&A With Tian Dayton Facilitated by Coaching Circles Comments (0)
Q. I am getting married in a month and am very much in love with my fiancée, but I can't help from feeling empty, even when I am with him. Am I wrong about how I am feeling about him?
We all carry emptiness inside of us. It's part of the human condition. Running from emptiness, trying to fill it with people, places and things, is one of the surest ways to guarantee that we will feel forever empty. Denying the emptiness within us only makes it grow. By acknowledging and confronting this feeling, you're opening the door to filling that empty space with what we might call spiritual energy. In twelve-step rooms we talk about a God-shaped hole, in other words an internal emptiness that only God can fill. This is an inside job. No relationship can fill that God-shaped hole and when we try to make it, we set ourselves up for disappointment and loneliness. Two whole people coming together to share this experience of life have a far better chance at a successful relationship than two half people who are trying to fill the void in themselves with the other.
Q. This is a second marriage for both my partner and me. Our union is so positive but we are both plagued by a negative past. How can we put this behind us and move on in our new lives together?
A. First of all, we don't really put negative history behind us; rather, we work slowly and methodically through how it's affected us. Then, as new insights occur, we integrate a fresh perspective on old events. It is in understanding our past that we can learn and grow. This stance includes a certain flexibility of mind and maturity of emotions that allows for living in the present. "Putting things behind us" all too often includes a willful attempt to lock a part of ourselves in an unresolved period of our personal history. It sounds good but in my experience, it doesn't really work. I'm for integration versus amputation.
“Questions to Ask Before You Get Married” by Dr. Robin Smith on Oprah
Before you walk down the aisle, ask the questions that really matter. Dr. Robin Smith shares 25 questions from her book, Lies at the Altar.
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“The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said,
And what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be for ever more.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same
music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
free
100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on ANY Diet Plan
BOOK: If you have ever struggled with excess weight and couldn't motivate yourself to stick with a diet for the long haul you should read this book.
The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice
BOOK: "There is a great deal of good information in this volume… [a] pragmatic and unique book." ~ Stephanie Buehler, PHD
Alcoholics Anonymous
SOCIAL SERVICE: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
CELEBRITY INTERVIEW 
Q&A With Tian Dayton Facilitated by Coaching Circles 
